Wow!

So many different things going on this past week and weekend, it was hard to keep my heading from spinning.

My poor sick boys. They both got the brunt end of some yucky stuff, that's for sure. Brayden with strep and Jake with strep and double ear infections. What burns me up is that we went to urgent care, I told the MD that we use a particular antibiotic for Jake's ear infections, but she wrote what she wanted anyway. So fast forward to Tuesday and his fever sparks again and his ears are so bad that I dont even want to describe what our ped said they look like. My poor boy! They both have been troopers!

Alexis had an AMAZING cheer comp this weekend! 1st place and Division Champs for Rockstarz and 2nd place for Chrystalz! I am so so proud of her!!!!!! Unfortunately, I had to miss it bc they boys were still sick. I hope Alexis understood how sorry I was to have missed it. Sometimes life just gets pretty crazy.

We had yet another repair to our home and I swear, I'm about sick of home repairs. This time it was a dishwasher. Ours completely broke, no warning, no nothing- just caput! We did replace it with a nice stainless steel one though. Im trying to convince Mike to buy a new stove now too, so our kitchen will match. It's just money, right?! LOL

We had a really fun time at the Jackass 3 dvd premiere party on Monday. Mike even ziplined. LOL It was held on the Paramount Studios lot and there was a ton of things to do in addition to the ziplining. We had a few drinks, watched the red carpet arrivals and made our way out. Roscoe Chicken and Waffles has been talked about and so many pics lately by CF people, we just had to try it. Eh- fun to go- not food I would get again.

Looks like we are heading towards getting tubes in Jake's ears, as he has had 4 ear infections since October. While I know this isn't the issue he had with his speech originally b/c he didn't get ear infections very often at all, maybe it will give him a boost in some progress. He has been wanting to talk more and more often lately. I am even understanding more and more of it! So proud of him!

One last thing on my mind, my birthday. I truly hate my birthday! Really, honestly, I hate it. It would be nice for one year for my family to wake up with not asking me what I wanted, but yet instead just doing something nice. Maybe bringing me flowers. Maybe getting into work late and going for breakfast. Maybe giving me a card. Maybe thinking ahead of time and getting a gift before the day of my birthday. I hate telling people that I dont want to celebrate b.c I get hounded about what I want to do, what I want as a gift, etc and then none of those things happen. They are asked last minute. I really dont care about the monetary value of anything. I never have. But the thought is nice. And that means prior to when you "have" to. Gosh- I sound like I am bitching about something that should be good. I HATE getting older. I want to stay young forever and not be reminded that I continue to age. It's all a process of thinking about the fact that there is an "end" to all of this. I am nowhere near ready for that end and I don't want to be reminded. If I must be "celebrated", it would be nice to have the people who know me the most, share that with me, without me having to constantly remind them what I mean. Does that make sense? Ok, that felt good to get off my chest!

Still hard to hear

Mike and I signed Jake up for a speech/hearing assessment at his preschool this past week. We figured any additional information we could give the school district for his upcoming assessments would be beneficial. No matter how much you know and no matter how anticipated things are, they are still hard to read/hear.

His assessment read:

He has difficulty in grammar and formulating ideas, omits word endings, uses only single words, says various letters differently (s/f, g/d, g/k), 0% of his language was intelligible. His hearing screening was unreliable. He was recommended for speech and language full assessments and therapy.

We have an amazing speech therapist and will continue with her for as long as possible. We, of course, knew that Jake would struggle with this test. Yet we wanted it because we wanted to provide the school district with as much as we were able. The statement about "0% of his language was intelligible" got me thinking though. Am I doing something wrong when we practice each day that makes it worse somehow? Am I not correcting enough? Am I not modeling enough? Am I accepting "Jake's language" too easily when I should really be pushing him to do different things?

I don't know. Honestly, I really don't. With a child who does struggle w/ speech and language, it really is a fine line about how much/when to correct. He doesn't always have the ability to make the changes we are asking him to make. I dont want to spend our time with tantrums b/c I am pushing him. I want him to increase his confidence and grow in his abilities.

Well, after this stressful news, I choose to de-stress myself doing something I had not done in awhile- BAKE! :)  It's been a perfect day for it with the weather being so cold. Currently, I have a homemade cinnamon crumb cake in the oven for the morning and have the ingrediants to make a 3 layer strawberry cake tomorrow. After, of course, I buy fresh sweet strawberries from the roadside guy.

I think we are all going to get up early in the morning to visit the snow too! So exciting! I hope we are all up for it. Alexis has to be at cheer by 10am, so we have to get moving faster than normal. I much prefer warm weather, but I have to admit I have been a little bummed it did not snow here- even a light dusting- as thought by everyone. I hope we still have a chance tonight.

Life is GREAT! :)

Will it Snow?

Will it snow in S. California tonight? Alexis and I are anxious to wake up in the AM to possible snow. We know it will only be a light dusting of it, but how fun would that be?! Mike, on the other hand, is being a party pooper. I wish he would join in our fun, even if it's just a little fun hope we have. ;)

Spent a fun evening together playing Taboo. Love that game! Really makes you have to think of some descriptive words to communicate. I won- again ;) Shhh - don't tell Mike/Alexis, but I've been playing w/ clients the past few weeks, so I might have a bit of a heads up on some of the words. :)

This week has been full of craziness at work. I am backlogged on my paperwork and will spend much of my weekend, at the very least, organizing what needs to be done. I am happy I was able to get the 2 major crisis under control in a successful way over the past few days for my clients. Their safety is my number one concern. Feels good when you are able to help, even if they hate you for it. I also commited myself to making a crazy creative behavior chart. It's going to be shaped like a swimming pool and will have all the elements (lounge chairs, pool toys, diving boards, etc) to hopefully engage my client. Think good thoughts that I can become super creative over this next week!

I haven't had any "Destructive Dynamic Duo" incidents this past week, but Mike did have one today. Apparently, when Mike was in the shower, he put them in their room to watch a movie. Well, normally they stay watching a movie and playing with their toys. I guess they were bored today, b/c they thought the fireplace was a fine and dandy place to play! Oops!!!!! Mike came downstairs to fireplace soot all over!!!! I wish he had gotten a pic, but I'm sure he wasn't a happy camper seeing that mess!

There has been a thread on WTE the past day about "high-spirited" children. I do believe Mr. Jake falls into that category. Now, please don't think I am "picking on" Jake. But he really is the instigator with much of our incidents. Brayden is normally standing there with a deer in the headlights looks when we catch them. I'm pretty sure he is taking great notes from his brother and will be trying out all sorts of fun things on his own soon. :)

Have a fun and fabulous weekend!

We are blessed!

Over the past few weeks, we have been anxiously awaiting news on a genetic test we had done on Jake for Fragile X. Needless to say, we have been trying our best to keep our minds busy and not worry. I am so happy to report that the test came back NEGATIVE!!!!!!! Mike and I never really thought the diagnosis "fit" him, but it's always good to rule out areas of concern.
Jake continues to be a mystery to us. He takes leaps and bounds in his development, but then he plateaus for quite some time. We are concerned b/c we have been working so hard with him on his speech. I really am beginning to think if he has an auditory processing disorder. I have inquired with our speech therapist and she thinks it might fit as well, but would never diagnosis that until he is school age. I really believe that Jake will end up being as "typical" as any other kid, but we may need to help w/ his learning style. I get so overwhelmed sometimes- mainly b/c of the unknown. When you know what you are dealing with, it might be hard initially to handle a particular diagnosis, but at least you know. You can do research, you can figure out the professionals whom will help best, you can guide his treatment in the most beneficial way. With Jake- we simply do not know! Thankfully, we have an amazing team of professionals who really care about Jake.

As far as other news in our life goes, well- things never slow down, that's for sure! Alexis has been driving for less than a month and it's a blessing and a curse. I LOVE not having to carpool her all over and I KNOW she loves the freedom to go on her own. BUT, she also had her first crash. Not a big one. But still, I guess it's a way we all somehow get inducted into driving. She will learn how to be wary of her surroundings and extra cautious as she continues to drive.

My new adventure in my career has taken some great turns and I am happy with the choices that I have made. I am not sure that I will ever be "ready" to leave my agency, but I like having my "own" as well. For some of you who know me, it might seem odd to you b/c I am a pretty independant person, but I really enjoy having a boss. I like being a part of a team and having other professionals to consult with about my cases. I am not sure I would ever be comfortable with handling the type of severity on my own that I do with my agency and I really enjoy the differences.

Mike and I finally got an evening to our ourselves a few weeks back and it was so nice! Those don't often come. I think we need to really look into making that a priority. Our relationship can only get better if we take time away from all the stresses of daily life and focus on the two of us.

All in all - life has been awesome!

A Life with No Doorknobs...

Well, over this past week we have had to change a few things about our living style- hence the title of this post--- we now have ZERO doorknobs in our home. Living with the dynamic destructive duo has some pretty exciting moments. One of which came last weekend when they locked themselves in our bedroom and we required a visit from the fire department.

I am fully at the point of understanding how different boys are from girls. Alexis required basically no babyproofing. Of course, I still did it all, but she never really got into anything. Our only incident was when she was about 20 months and she crawled into a bottom kitchen cabinet to get licorice. Of course, I ran to get a camera before I got her out of the cabinet. Such a cute little thing.

With the boys, however, babyproofing seems like it should be optional, but for totally separate reasons. Jake can get through ANY babyproofing we set up! And of course, his trusty sidekick is always with him to get into the fun stuff. I am wondering when this stage will pass, but people keep telling me there is way more to come. I fear they are correct!

Currently, our most used door (from garage to kitchen) is secured with a double top lock and we have a key inside and outside the house. Had Mike not installed the double top lock, I'm not sure we would ever get a good night sleep. Jake is up at all hours of the night. Most times he comes into our room, but he usually wants food and a drink (yes- at like 2am!!!!). What if he tries to get it himself one night? That would be scary!

So far each of the boys like to torment each other and are each other's best friends. I cannot wait until they are in the same school. I think it will be so fun for them! I am watching them play right now, as a matter of fact. Brayden is standing behind the plantation shutters, Jake has "shut" him in them, and Jake is reaching through the slats to "get" Brayden and saying "peek a boo". I'm loving it!

Life is never dull and I'm sure we are in for some great adventures along the way. If no doorknobs is the most of my worries, I will be thrilled! :)

Can't we all just get along?

Such a cliche right? But as I have sat and thought over the past while, it is a true statement/question. I listen to problems people have, reality tv shows displaying people's lives, personal relationships, etc etc etc- and I just don't understand why people can't get along. We all have our own opinions and we don't have to agree with each other, we don't even have to like each other- but how about having mutual respect? How about agreeing to disagree?

Sometimes I think about my marriage and when we are struggling, as all married couples do, I just don't understand why. We love each other, we want what's best for each other, we want to be married, but yet we can each be so careless with our words and the impact those words have. We can be careless with listening and really putting an effort towards working on our relationship.

All relationships take work, it's really a matter of whether you want to put that work towards it. I've heard some people claim that marriage doesn't- or shouldn't- take "work". But realistically, how can you not put effort towards your relationship? How can you expect that the same feelings you had when you first started dating will be there, untarnished, when the pressures of life get in the way? And it's not that we don't love each other now even more than we did way back when we were dating, but when we were dating, we had limited time with each other. We planned out things to do in that time. I remember how it felt to leave Mike's house in the morning to go into work the next day. I felt on top of the world. We had a great night the night before. I got to wake up next to someone that I normally did not. It was fun. Now- we have carpools, fighting with the boys to behave and allow us to get ready, try to get out the door at a reasonable time, try to arrange work times to match with daycare times, etc etc etc. There always seems to be such a lack of time.

And then the pressures of "real life". You know, "real life" sucks! Ok- it sucks sometimes. I really do love my life! I love my husband, I love my kids, I love my family, I love what I do. But, for once, I would love to love a private island in Fiji! I don't want to deal wiith homework, paperwork, remembering appts, trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Gosh- I'm such a whiner! WOW! Well, I guess this is the place to whine though. I really think that Mike should buy lotto tickets every week so we can win already. Those who have said money doesn't buy happiness, doesn't seem to understand that if I had money I could have more free time and that would give me more happiness!

I thought about posting all day long. I think this will be a good thing- even if I do ramble and don't make sense to everyone else out there ;)

Today 2/15/2011

Today I want to start a new chapter in my life. I want to start becoming the person I once thought I was. Somehow over the past few years, I have changed. I guess when I say "somehow", I, in all actuality, know how. I got married, had 2 more kids back to back and life took more twists and turns than I ever thought possible.

I sit in sessions with clients, telling them how important it is to journal their thoughts and feelings- explaining what that process can do for them. Yet, I am a hyprocrite. I never journal anymore. I never take the time to take all my stresses out of my head and put them to paper. They don't even have to be stresses- they can just be daily thoughts. Everything compiles in my brain and I feel like I am on over-drive constantly.

This morning was a perfect example. I set an 8:30am phone interview for an intake appt w/ someone to help Jake. Where am I at 8:30am? In the shower. Why? B/c I woke up at 6:30am and started working. My mind was on getting my paperwork finished so I could have time to do this phone appt, get to my MD appt, and see clients. Yet- I missed the phone appt. Thankfully, she still had time for me and I was able to complete it- all while getting myself dressed, teeth brush and out the door to take Brayden to daycare with my own wet hair. And yes, and btw, I also had on a sweatshirt that I didn't realize had 2 water stains on the front and mismatched socks- while I was wearing slippers! I drive to my appt, getting lost even though my dear husband printed directions, b/c I am so intent on this conversation that I "just know" where I am going as I glance at the directions. Life is crazy!

I am not sure as to why I feel overwhelmed most of the time. I used to feel so confident and assured that I am "good" at what I do. Now I know that I am "ok" at what I do. My career, I know I am good at- not being cocky- just knowing that I enjoy it and hear good feedback from my bosses and clients.

Being a parent- well- this I am not sure of most days. I always thought I was meant to be a parent. I still do. I just think I am not meant to be a fulltime working parent. Trying to juggle priorities, money, kids wishes/desires/needs, while tending to my career- it all just can't get done in my reality. I find I am constantly behind in work, b/c during work hours, I am taking care of kid related things.

Alexis- what can I say- she is a gem! She is truly my first love and always will be. She is also 16! With that comes attitude and her own personal struggles that I can not always fix for her. She is such an amazing child, whom is entering young adulthood in such an awesome way. I panic when I realize I will lose her to the big bad world in a few years. I hope she always knows she is my priority even if my time is crunched.

Jake- wow Jake! You threw me for a loop! Life with Jake is a rollercoaster ride! We have some amazing ups and some turbulent downs. With all that goes on in his world, at the end of the day, he is all smiles and loves and snuggles. I wish things were easier for him in lots of different ways, but no one could ever love Jake more than I!

Brayden- my butterball baby! Gentle giant! Such a mellow baby now getting his own personality. I love that he loves to go outside and stands at the door saying "ow" ("out"). Most likely my last baby and I want him to stay that way forever! I can remember like yesterday, bringing him home into our chaotic world- his first outing the same day to see his sister graduate 8th grade. Such a patient boy with a heart of gold.

My kids are my life and I wouldn't want it any other way. Working full time, having 3 kids of very different ages/doing very different things, a husband, a dog, a cat- my life is never boring! I wouldn't have it any other way!

I started this blog as a way to start my journey with journaling again- if you want to read my babble, feel free. If you don't, that's ok too. My kids will hopefully see a less stressed mom once I take time for myself and that's the most important part for me! :)